Painful Recollection,

She quietly crept out her window sill into the dark backyard. She tip-toed to the side door of her house not once looking back. So young, so naive, out that side door she walked & it was a rap. She waited on the corner for friends to attend to a party anticipated for weeks. Deep in her mind, 'What will momma say or what will daddy think? I cannot even bear to think of what they would say to me when they speak.' There's no going back now for she had already gone too far & waited too long, & here came the car with the heavy bass booming to a song with 2 guy friends she knew for only a few 3 to 4 months long. At the party they stepped in & had a good night, socialized & danced, ladies in their best outfits & fellas with drinks in their hands. This wasn't her scene, she was too young & too naive she didn't even know. She only felt like it was something out of a show. She liked it, this freedom of sneaking out. Deep in her mind, 'Damn, if they ever knew... momma would be disappointed in me & daddy would scream & shout.' She let her night go on til about the stroke of 2 in the morn, & it was then her & her friends left reminiscing about how much fun they had. As far as she knew, they were gonna take her home but she thought too soon. Blocks away from her house, friend number one stopped the car & it was looking pretty bad. But you see, she liked this dude & liked him enough to stay but nevertheless she didn't know her actions had consequences & she would have to pay. He climbed in the backseat with her as friend number two awaited outside. He talked this & that & pulling line after line. They got to kissing right, & it felt right... it felt right til friend number 2 climbed in the backseat too. Then it felt wrong, wrong, it felt so wrong to feel him & him beside her with her right in the middle. It felt even more wrong that these dudes tried to get inside of her, she questioned them 'Why?' like a riddle. She pleaded for them to take her home but they threatened her & told her 'NO' unless they got what they wanted. They wanted 'IT', they wanted sex, they wanted head, they wanted dome, whatever you want to call 'IT', they wanted 'IT' all before they could take her home. Deep in her mind, 'This was a mistake & I should've thought twice. Damn I am so young, so naive & all of this just ain't right. No means no & they ain't comprehending my statement at all. They can't even see the tears against my cheek, they fall, they fall.' She submitted to their desires & gave up her will to be able to go home. Yeah, she gave it up against her will, 'IT', the sex & the dome. They penetrated her youth with a dagger & she definitely paid for her irresponsibility. It hurt her so consistantly. An hour or two they used her & abused her. Friend number one pulled her hair even though she asked him to stop. Friend number two slapped her when he was on top. Friend number one bit her, choked her, & left her hickeys for days. Friend number one & two 'arrived' & left her dazed. An hour or two they left her bruised after all the misuse & abuse. Then, they dropped her off on the corner they picked her up at. They left her on the corner & right there she sat. She sat there & cried in the dark until she finally had the nerves to walk the rest of the way home. & As silently as she came out, she was just as silent as she walked back in. She walked back in to find her window closed & locked with no way back in. Deep in her mind, 'Shit, my parents already know & there's no way out of this one.' To the front door she made her debut to her parents with 3 knocks & some sobs. She just wanted to kill herself from the embarrassment, she asked herself, 'Where's a gun when you need one?' In the light, beat up she stood with a body bruised. Daddy was angry & hit her, momma hugged her as she cried & while she did so, she looked at her confused, like 'How could this happen to my babygirl?' Deep in her mind, 'Momma, this is a cruel cruel fucking world. Why it happend to me you ask? I messed up I know, but I will never admit it through this embarrassment in my fucked up show.' The house that night felt like lightning hit it twice, an earthquake shook it up, & each beating heart present froze as cold as ice. This night she cried herself to sleep with her head in her pillows & sheets over her head. In her dark room she wanted to stay forever & never leave her bed.

You see, to this day she recollects this painful memory in her head.

WORD.